At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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