Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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