Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
