Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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