I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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