she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize