i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
