Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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