i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
