dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
