Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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