Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm like, not good at living.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
