all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
