they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
