ya dads aren't the best wingmen
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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