Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
