i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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