I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
