is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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