dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
