No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
