Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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