Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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