Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do herpes really smell.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
