Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
