just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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