i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
