exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
