Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
