I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
