I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
