take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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