i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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