I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
