Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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