Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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