Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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