yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
