Just took my morning after pill in the library
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
