Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
