But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
