I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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