Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize