If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
