I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
