I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
