I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
