well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
