I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
