why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize