I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
