She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
