Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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