It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
