We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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