Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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