I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
